livingcured

I've decided to really jazz things up here at livingcured. Today is the first in my multi-part series: Why Cancer Sucks. I won't go into the obvious reasons: death, disfigurement, chemotherapy. I really want to highlight the little known sucky things about it.

For instance, if you've had the misfortune of having cancer before you've started your family, the fertility issues are significant. Before I started chemotherapy, my husband and were able to do a round of IVF, which had successful results. But, my Onc feels strongly that I stay on Tamoxifen (an anti-hormonal breast cancer drug) for the full recommended five years, at which time I'll be 40. I'll likely be in menopause by then, thanks to the chemotherapy. And the Onc doesn't want me to take any time off Tamoxifen for a pregnancy. On top of all of this, the Tamoxifen is making my uterus inhospitable to a pregnancy. (It is policy here at livingcured to spare readers gory medical details.) The final blow to my mental health is that pregnancy has been shown to reduce the risk of breast cancer. (In fact, that I hadn't ever been pregnant is the one risk factor that I had for the disease.)

So long story short, we are starting to look for gestational surrogates. Which lead me to this web-page.

I'm scared.

Have you ever responded to another's medical misfortune with pithy statements such as "Well, if your time is up, it's up." Or, when hearing of a friend's cancer diagnosis, said: "Heck, any of us could get hit by a bus."

My personal favorite inappropriate-cancer comment was by friend who suggested that I eat more blueberries, like blueberries have some magical power that could combat a Stage III breast cancer.

Anyways, this is for you.

Wow, this is getting weird. Hearing the news of Mr. Snow's recurrence left me dumbstruck and saddened. Which proves that cancer is the great equalizer, because normally, I can't stand the guy.

I found this really thoughtful column that Mr. Snow wrote regarding his cancer experience.

And here's an article from the Boston Globe that discusses both metastatic colon and breast cancer.

This article has a recent history of cancer in political figures.

This story has not left the news since the press conference to announce the return of Mrs. Edwards' cancer was scheduled. There were three stories in the New York Times this weekend, and Bob Herbert has an op-ed today.

The best I've read was published in the San Francisco Chronicle this past Friday.

As you might imagine, I've been following this story very closely, both by reading the comments posted in the cancer discussion groups (I know, I was supposed to give those up...) and on the political blogs that I read. From reading the cancer discussion threads on the topic, I predict that bc oncologists will have a spike in calls from patients who are reporting signs of recurrence. In short, many early-stage breast cancer patients who are 'living cured' are freaked out.

But I have been most stunned by the reactions of some in the political blogosphere. I've read some really critical, cynical perspectives on the news that John Edwards will continue his campaign, despite his wife's health. Some seem to believe that he should stop what he is doing and tend to her night and day, despite the fact that she is totally healthy and her daily functioning is not compromised in anyway-- she is certainly threatened by the cancer, but per her Oncologist's opinion it can be managed (knock wood). Some have condemned him for being selfish, for using his wife's illness to his political advantage, one poster even went so far that Mrs. Edwards brought the disease on herself because of her alleged use of fertility drugs.

Anyways, what I really want to tell these people who are posting all sorts of ugliness on the topic-- until you enter Cancerland for yourself, you will never ever be able to understand the mind of a cancer patient or their loved ones. Oh yea, and f'off.

USA Today reports that the number of cancer patients and survivors will grow 55% by 2020. Too bad George Bush's proposed 2008 budget cuts funding for cancer research for the first time in 30 years.

I saw my Oncologist yesterday, an appointment that I had been eyeing suspiciously for a while. I now see my Oncologist every four months, after over a year of monthly appointments. As the pages of my datebook advanced, I would catch glimpses of the appointment and it would cause my stomach to flip-flop.

Up to now, the visits to my Onc haven't been cause for any undue anxiety. While I don't like having to visit Sloan-Kettering, it seems to be in my best interest. However, I'm also hyper-aware that I'm now smack dab in the middle of my riskiest time of recurrence. In other words, if the cancer is going to come back, it is going to do so between now and sometime in 2008-- the 2-3 year window post treatment.

There's an irony to it-- I feel healthier than I did prior to my diagnosis. I'm taking great care of myself and have switched to a low-stress job. But neither of these actions, while both positive for my general health, have been shown to reduce the risk of the cancer coming back.